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Quite possibly the best pickup line ever..

There’s been plenty of times I’ve been unimpressed with the way a guy has tried to get my number… But this guy, I kid you not, almost made me leave my boyfriend of 3 1/2 years without speaking a single word to me…

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I’ve never told anyone this before..

I’m serious when I say that–not a single soul knows what I am about to tell you. This is a story from my childhood.

Growing up, it wasn’t uncommon for my mom or dad to boil a whole carton of eggs. So after said eggs were boiled they would be put in a bowl in the fridge for anyone to snack on. One day I got the bright idea to pull a prank on someone.

There’s a bowl of hard boiled eggs, so I’ll throw in a fresh egg that hasn’t been cooked…so when someone goes to crack it open and peel off the shell, they’ll get gooey egg all over them! Genius.  However, … Continue Reading

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I saw a bird do the front crawl..

I swear I’m not lying.

There’s a first for everything right? This is a story from my recent Cuba trip. Now sure, my boyfriend documented most of the trip in a video… But he didn’t get EVERYTHING.

In fact the Cuba trip was a first for a few of things..

My boyfriend had his first drink throw in his face–hey, what was I supposed to do? He threw me off his shoulders in 2 ft of water..

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Call Me the “Night Lady”

I’m not going to explain this all that much… Because the clip speaks for itself. Just listen. Trust me, you won’t regret it.

Click this link: Call me the “Night Lady”

Don’t ask why I was talking about this on the radio the other night.. I don’t even know.

The best part about all of this: my closest friends have probably witnessed me eating said cheese slices.. and not just one or two.. Devouring like 5 at once… it happened. Alcohol may have fueled my hunger.

Oh, and might I add– after hearing this my boss said to me “It’s amazing you’re not like 200 pounds”

Looks like I might just have to try this HP sauce idea..

 

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Gym Attire

Can we talk gym attire for a minute..

Since joining the gym in January I’ve found some very very bizarre things. I just don’t understand why:

a) People come to the gym in jeans,  a button up shirt, complete with a belt. How is this comfortable and easy to move in..? Oh wait, that’s right, they just come to walk around and talk to people–can’t you do that at the mall… for free?

b) People don’t wear the proper foot ware.  I’ve seen boots and big ‘skater’ shoes.. not exactly running shoes.

c) Girls don’t wear sports bras.. Sure you boobs look bigger and better but running around with an under wire bra cannot be comfortable.

And in EXTREME cases

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Water Pressure in Yellowknife is Insane

It came to my realization that yesterday (March 9) was the day I flew home from Yellowknife to start work in Owen Sound.. 1 year gone already, I can’t believe it. So I started reminiscing… and remembered one thing : The water pressure in YK is crazy insane.

Let me explain.

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A New Appreciation For Swimmers

So I’ve recently started working out at the gym. This has made me realize that I suck at a lot of things.. simple things at that.

So in my efforts to work out I’ve tried to take advantage of everything at the gym–including the pool. You’d think: “Oh a nice, refreshing, relaxing work out in the pool”. Completely wrong.

Now this may be because of one of two things:

a) I’ve never taken swimming lessons

b) I was hungover

Me doing some lengths of the pool turned into me flopping around like some sort of cat in the water, gasping for breath, and smashing my head. You see

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The Problems of Living by Yourself..

Sure there are lots of great things about living by yourself such as:

Leaving dirty dishes EVERYWHERE.

Leaving clothes EVERYWHERE.

Having your music at an absurd level.

Sleeping in until 12pm and staying up until 4am.

But when you are as forgetful and clueless as I am–you’ll lock yourself out of your apartment and you won’t have a roomie to let you in. It will be awful (minus the bad ass feeling you get while plotting your stealth break in).

So here is how it happened:

… Continue Reading

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The TTC Scares the Hell Out of Me

Why can’t everyone just get along? Okay, I get it, using public transportation isn’t exactly the most pleasant way to get from point A to point B.. but that doesn’t mean you need to start a screaming match in the middle of subway train.

Let me lay out what happened.

So there were not many seats available when I hopped on, so I opted to stand. One woman with a bunch of bags wanted to sit. The girl with the empty seat next to her refused to get up and move over so she could get in. That’s when the cursing started.. the swearing started.. and someone insisting that “assault” was taking place (far from it). I mean these two went at it yelling and screaming well after the woman finally pushed her way past and sat down next to the girl.

By this point the everyone was staring.. and I honestly think we were all waiting for something like this to happen..

Why would anyone force themselves to sit next to someone who is about to rip your head off..? It’s beyond me.

That’s why I now will add another rule to TTC riding.. Best option on the subway.. ALWAYS STAND.

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This is how lazy I am..

So I’ve been in my place for about 6 months now or so–and I’d say for about 4 months… The lighting in my apartment hasn’t worked properly.

It all began with my living room light–it liked to ‘strobe’ every once in a while. I was down with that; I’d just have a wicked dance party when it happened. Then it stoped working completely. 🙁 No more dance parties. So I stole the lamp from my bedroom for light.

Problem fixed.

Then my kitchen light went out, and believe me playing with knives in the dark is a bad idea. But luckily I had a florecent light above my sink.

Problem fixed.

Then just the other day it was my bathroom light. And there is no window in that room. Not good. Let’s just say my makeup after that looked ummm… pair that with my patchy, shaved, legs…and my less than stellar hair-do–I looked like I came straight out of  a horror story.

I think it may be time for me to invest in a couple $2.79 light bulbs… Call me cheap, call me lazy, I think I’m being smart! Think about all that electricity I’m saving..

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